Sacred Selfies: How I Got Out Of A Deep PMS Rut

I didn’t get my period the last two months I spent in Nosara (the bougie yoga hot spot of Costa Rica) and I took these photos of myself 3 days before my bleed finally came.

That week, I was experiencing a dark night of the soul, while in deep PMS/wild woman/inner Fall phase, feeling lost and ungrounded after having moved a total of 15 times in less than 4 months.

Everything was feeling out of whack in my life.

That day, my belly was feeling swollen, I was uncomfortable in my body, overwhelmed and frustrated with myself.

I had 2 professional shoots scheduled for the following days and the last thing I wanted was to be photographed. The last thing I wanted was to be seen in my mess, in my insecurity, in my negative mindset.

I was hating on everything. Criticizing everything. Triggered by the seemingly mundane, trying to bite my tongue but unleashing my cut throat words regardless.

I could feel myself spiralling into darkness and shame for not being happy and bright while one of my ex-clients and now closest friends came to visit.

But that morning, this plant you see pictured behind me in this photo, inspired me.

I felt drawn to her. I could hear the whispers of mama nature calling me to commune with her. To create with her.

I put on bright orange on my lips, and some shimmery highlighter on my cheekbones.
My clothes were feeling tight, constraining, so I didn’t wear anything but a thong and shawl/scarf.
Only a little worried my roommates would wake up or neighbours would catch a glimpse of my unveiling.
I open my sensual goddess playlist, the one I use for pole dancing.
I start to play, to drop in.
I’m getting lost in creation.
The warm breeze caresses my skin, as I let the music sway my hips.
I’m taking photos, trying out different angles, getting more and more naked.
Finding pleasure and delight in my feminine body, which only minutes before I was fighting with for not feeling and looking ‘right’.
I’m letting the light guide me, letting the goddess direct me.

And suddenly I could breathe again.
It hits me, like it always does.

This photoshoot was a portal to my transformation.

It wasn’t about the photos themselves in that moment. It was a process of seeing myself, of becoming the artist, the muse, of being inspired by the beauty all around me and the beauty inside me, even in this dark phase, alchemizing the heavy emotions and turning them into art. Being with myself, taking a moment to feel, to notice the present moment and to honour my feminine. To show up for her with presence and love and appreciation, showing her she is worthy always.

And of course, I ended up with incredible photos after. Because I was loving the process, the process itself was the point. To remember who the fuck I am. To remember that in that moment, everything was perfect. That I have all I need right here in the now and that I have the power to shift and create. To be the creatrix. To love myself unconditionally.

And no this did not happen overnight.

I have spent a lot of time with myself, reprogramming my beliefs and getting comfortable with who I am, I’ve taken a lot of photos and alchemized a lot of rock bottoms/inner falls to be the embodied feminine leader I am today. And now you can learn from all my stumbles in wayyy less time than I did.

I’ll be sharing my most powerful embodiment practices, tips and techniques in my new 6 week program Magnetic Muse so you can learn the energetics behind the magnetism of the women you see flaunting their feminine shamelessly on IG.

By the end you’ll not only have incredible photos of yourself but you’ll walk away with tools and practices to activate your sensual muse, unlock your creativity and amplify your magnetism. After 6 weeks, I promise you will not be the same woman who entered this portal. You will be MORE of you.

To experience this shift from fearful of judgement or of doing it wrong to sensually expressed multifaceted goddess that attracts all that she desires… join Magnetic Muse below.

Xo

Sabrina