Day 3: UNEARTH: What lies beneath

THE TRIGGERS LIGHT THE WAY

Our shadow is closely tied to shame, guilt and lack of worthiness. Every situation, trigger, negative experience is the pathway to healing. It shows you the way. Who are you jealous of? You see it you got it. It’s an unexpressed part of you.

From the list you wrote out yesterday, what are those triggers pointing to? Fear of abandonment? Not loveable? Fear of rejection?

How are these situations mirroring back to you what you need to heal or where you are still blocked?

What memory or situation can you tie this wound back to?

Pick a situation that triggered you today or recently or a pattern in your life that keeps repeating itself. And take it through these questions.

For example: I had a friend who kept attracting guys she felt she couldn’t trust and she kept blaming the city she lived in and the lack of options and saying there are no decent guys left. After digging a little deeper, we noticed a pattern of her putting herself in situations with men she knew were emotionally unavailable (a reflection of her father) so that she wouldn’t have to open up (fear of being seen, fear of rejection) and that she couldn’t trust (reflecting back at her that she doesn’t trust herself)

She remembered a time when she was 7 on a school bus, she was in her own world, smiling away lost in her thoughts and an older boy spoke to her. She was very shy and was giggling and he looked at her dryly and said “ar you one of those people that just laughs all the time?, She smiled and nodded. He said: “I hate those people”

Wounding doesn’t have to come from outright abuse, it can be smaller situations that have a lasting impact on our sense of self and safety. This situation and others left her feeling unsafe about expressing her joy and in her dating life she always found herself holding back or playing it cool, the chill girl. She was never able to receive the depth of love and intimacy she craved because she herself had a wall up and was calling in partners who reflected that in her.

Another client was modelled from her mother that self-

Now you understand what shadow aspect of yourself you are looking to heal and what root belief and experience modelled this for you and was imprinted in your subconscious.