13 Self-Care Principles I live by: What I Learnt in this Lifetime
Lucky Number 13
The dawn of a new decade has made me reflect and look back on all that I’ve learnt and how much I‘ve transformed. In the last couple of years especially, the growth has been so rapid. I gathered some of my favourite lessons and mantras I now live by that have made my life unfold significantly smoother and that I wish I understood in my early 20s. At whatever stage you’re at on your journey, these basic principles of self-love will bring you ease and calm. Why 13? My favourite number, in Greece where my family is from, it’s considered lucky as opposed to a dark evil omen. I grew up with this notion that it was a powerful number and when I found out Friday the 13th was also the day of the goddess, I loved it even more.
Whenever I’m in doubt, I breathe, refer to this list, and remember that life is unfolding perfectly and that it’s all part of the process.
Step outside your comfort zone:
Seek discomfort, do what scares you and take baby steps beyond your edge. Sometimes you won’t even know what you were scared of and other times, it won’t turn out as you had imagined. Either way you will without a doubt grow. Failure is your best teacher, we learn through experience. Failure and imperfection does not make you less worthy, less loveable. It shows courage and willingness to put yourself out there for the sake of your soul’s evolution. Failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of it. Be gentle with yourself throughout the process and create your own emotional safety net.Make yourself vulnerable:
Express yourself, say what you really mean, it is your only chance at meaningful connection. It’s not about oversharing and dumping on the other, but about speaking your truth, using your voice and not being afraid of judgment or disagreements. If it falls flat, it wasn’t meant for them. Expressing your emotions and your vulnerability gives others permission to do the same and leads to depth, transformation, connection and love. Basically why we’re here.The intention over the destination:
Live and make decisions based on your intentions and values, not by the end result. We are a results and performance based society but make your intentions be the guide not the final outcome. You can’t control people’s response. Just your energy, your feeling, your love. Put it out there and let it be. It won’t always be understood until it is. That’s not up to you. That’s not your problem. Always refer back to your why and let what lights you up guide you.Follow the rhythm:
Have faith in the universe, in the cycle of life. It is not linear, like nature. It is a series of ebbs and flows, trust that what goes up must come down and go up again. Stay calm throughout the cycles and embrace and love the lows for what they teach you as much as you appreciate the highs for how they fill you up. Polarities exist in every situation, it' is the law of nature. Once you stop resisting that, life flows.Feel in your body:
Be in your body. Move, dance, touch yourself, love yourself. Movement is the solution. Sweat, flow, let loose, get out of your head and into the present through your senses. Your soul is having a human experience through this body of yours, enjoy it, embrace it, feel into it. When in doubt, let it out. Dance is the great healer.Give yourself time outs:
Time outs not just for pre-schoolers! Sometimes you have to cut your mind off and just say no, enough is enough, it is what it is. Acknowledge, accept and find perspective. Retreat and journal. There is no shame in resting and recharging. Your body and mind need to rest in order to be present. Replenish. Stop the hustle. Turn in. Release the guilt about rest and yin energy, it is just as important as active, yang energy.Listen when people speak:
Be present. Really listen. To what they say and what they don’t say. If someone makes you uncomfortable, tell them. Ask questions. Ask for clarifications. Don’t make assumptions. Repeat back what they said to make sure you properly understood.Forgive yourself:
You did the best you could with the tools you had at the time. Be kind, be soothing, be soft. Hold yourself. Be your own cheerleader, be your own parent, be your own best friend, be your own muse. Say nice things to yourself every single day. Your words matter. What you feed, grows. Tell yourself it will be ok. Soothe your inner child when she’s scared. Hold space for her.Tune in every single day:
Meditate and visualize every morning. Be grateful and affirm every night. Meditation is mental hygiene. It’s reconnecting to your higher self. Be one with her. Reconnect daily. Check in. She has all the answers.Communication is lubrication:
Communication is everything, sex is no different. Say what you want and like. Ask what they like. Ask if they like it. Be the goddess. Worship each other. Explore. Treat your body as the sacred temple it is and find partners that venerate you. Never settle for less than what you deserve. Don’t make excuses for them. Either they level up or get out. You are not here to convince anyone of your worth or make yourself smaller to appease their egos. Let your power shine, let your voice be heard and let your worth be seen.Set boundaries:
Say no when you mean no. Leave the party. You’re allowed to change your mind half way. You call the shots and you don’t owe anyone anything. Boundaries aren’t walls, they show people where the door is. If you say yes when you mean no, it creates resentment and everyone loses. It is self-betrayal and it diminishes the trust you have with yourself.Don’t judge experiences:
Don’t judge the discomfort. Accept, observe and embrace. Trust the process. Love the journey. There’s more to every moment then you can even grasp in the moment. Enjoy the new even if it’s turbulent and soak it all in. You’ll only ever live this exact moment once. Take time to reflect after the fact.Engage your senses:
Sensuality allows you to connect to the present moment. Sensuality is your soul’s physical expression. Taste, scent, beauty, environment, adornment. Self-care. Be the object of your affection. Indulge and find pleasure in your own beauty and the beauty around you. You are a goddess and pleasure is your birthright.
My wish is for this list to inspire you on your own journey of self-discovery. What are some self-love principles you live by? I invite you to write your own or refer to this list whenever you forget how magical you and life are. It’s simply a process of remembering. You already know :)