From Fear of Being Seen to Fully Expressed: Overcoming Public Speaking Anxiety & Awakening the Dark Feminine

Fear of being seen, public speaking anxiety, and deep-rooted self-doubt are some of the most common blocks women face when stepping into visibility, leadership, and self-expression. Even confident, high-performing women—coaches, creators, and entrepreneurs—often struggle with nervous system overwhelm, fear of judgment, and the internal belief of “what if I’m not good enough?”

In this personal story, I share my journey of overcoming visibility fear, healing performance anxiety, and stepping into embodied feminine leadership through shadow work, emotional release, and deep self-trust. This is for the woman who feels the pull to be seen, to lead, and to express herself fully—but finds herself holding back at the edge.

If you’re navigating fear of public speaking, visibility blocks, or the journey into your authentic feminine expression, this story will meet you exactly where you are—and show you what becomes possible when you choose to stay instead of run.

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It’s 2022. A summer festival deep in the forest.

Hundreds of people walking barefoot through the trees, drums echoing in the distance, the smell of palo santo and campfire in the air. And I’m supposed to be leading a workshop. On paper, it made sense:

-I had over 10,000 followers on Instagram.
-I’d hosted masterclasses online.
-People saw me as confident, expressive, a leader.

But standing there at the festival, watching people gather… My chest tightened. My hands were shaking. The thought running through my mind was simple: What if they see through me?

Originally, I was scheduled to teach in front of hundreds of people. I panicked and emailed the organizers and asked if they could move me to a smaller workshop during the post-integration portion of the festival. Even that felt unbearable. Soon enough, the moment was approaching.

My nervous system went into full shutdown. I turned to my partner at the time and said,“We’re leaving, my body is saying no to this”

He started packing up the tent, a little annoyed but I seemed so sure he didn't argue. I was silent and down as we quietly walked out of the festival grounds. We sat by a waterfall, tears streaming down my face, trying to convince myself it was the right decision. I kept explaining all the reasons why leaving made sense. And then he asked me something I couldn’t ignore: “Why are you crying if you say it was the right decision?”

That question hit something deep.

Because I knew the truth. I wasn’t crying because leaving was right. I was crying because I was abandoning myself.

So I walked into the forest barefoot. Makeup running down my face. And I felt it all. Scream crying, hands in the dirt, letting every ounce of shame, fear and resistance move through my body. All the voices that said:“You’re not good enough.” “You’re a fraud.” “People will see you wobble.”

Part of me felt ridiculous. I should be over this by now. But something in me knew this wasn’t a moment to override. This was a moment to meet myself in the depths.

So I stayed with it, letting the dark feminine move through me. The wild woman sobbing in the forest. Letting my partner see me in my lowest state. That alone felt excruciating… But it was also the medicine. Eventually the storm passed. I stood up. Clear, calm, certain.

We walked back to the camp, he rebuilt the giant tent (lol the things men do for their woman). And I made the decision to do the hard thing. The irony? My workshop was called Dark Feminine Rising. And that day, I had to live it.

Because the truth is… Being seen had always been my greatest fear.

-As a child, teachers made me redo oral presentations because I stared at the floor the entire time, barely audible my voice was shaking so hard.

-In university, I ended up in the emergency room before a presentation after having a dissociative episode out of fear of public speaking.

-Even as a coach, in my early years, I would get physically sick for DAYS before online workshops.

Sweats, shaking, the shits (lol, tmi but it’s true)
Barely able to see or function.

Instagram had become easy for me, I was hiding behind a screen, able to perform in the safety of my space. But standing in front of real humans… Making eye contact, feeling their attention on me… I felt like dying.

But that day I didn’t run even though everything in my body wanted to. I showed up after having fully felt what was there and something incredible happened. It all flowed out of me and became one of the most powerful workshops I had ever led. People cried and laughed. A mother and child sat together in the space soaking it all up, men and women connecting in a way I’ll never forget.

And that’s when a deeper truth landed for me.

The places where you feel the most resistance…
the conversations you’re avoiding, the investment you say you “don’t have the money for,” the art you feel called to share but keep holding back…are the pathway.

The parts of you that scare you. The places where you feel blocked. Where your instinct is to run.

👉🏽Those aren’t always signs to stop, they’re invitations.

Invitations to meet yourself deeper, expand your capacity, meet your next edge. To become the woman who does the thing anyway. Because the truth is, you don’t wait until you’re ready.

You don’t wait until the fear disappears, or have the money, or feel confident being seen. You become ready by doing the thing.

By meeting yourself in the moment that scares you and choosing to stay. Because if I had listened to the fear that day… I would have missed the moment that changed everything. And the life that opened because of it.

Fast forward to this weekend.

I’m standing in a sauna, wearing a bikini, forty people sitting in front of me. Steam rising, bodies breathing, music blaring, emotions moving through the room, all eyes on me. I’m guiding them through an embodiment experience in the heat.

And as I looked around the room, it hit me, this is my life now, and it feels normal. I host polarity workshops, poetry nights, embodiment experiences for men and women. I stand in front of hundreds of people guiding them into deeper connection with themselves and each other.

And this week I began a new chapter at Joy Wellness Spa, where I’ll be holding weekly sauna and cold plunge experiences. Forty people at a time, leading from my body, my voice. And I couldn’t help but think back to that girl crying by the waterfall, trying to run away from that first festival workshop.

Because if I had left that day, if I had listened to the fear…  If I had chosen safety over expression…

None of this would exist. Not the art, not the depth.
Not the thousands of people I’ve had the privilege of impacting.

All of it came from honouring a whisper. The whisper of the feminine within me that said: Stay. Feel it. Do the hard thing.

The path of the feminine isn’t easy, it isn’t all about resting and looking pretty. It’s the heroine’s journey, a journey of death and rebirth.

The journey where you meet the parts of yourself you’d rather avoid to be the woman you’re meant to become. Where you face the shame, the fear of being seen, the conditioning that taught you to be small or pleasing or safe.

And every time you move toward truth instead of away from it… Your life expands. More aliveness and impact. More freedom to be fully expressed. And this is the work we practice inside all the Gravity Rose spaces. Spaces where women expand their capacity to be seen, felt and expressed, together. 

Because the truth is… you don’t have to be as extreme as I was, scream-crying in the forest with dirt under your nails. You don’t have to wait until life pushes you to a breaking point before something shifts. You can practice. You can soften into being seen in rooms filled with beauty and laughter. Spaces where your nervous system learns that expression can feel safe… pleasurable even.

Where we explore truth and shadow, but also pleasure, play, sensuality and art. Where your voice gets stronger, your body relaxes and your expression becomes more alive.

And this is exactly what we explore in FEMME FATALE: Death to the Good Girl the first masterclass in the Feminine Frequency portal.

For the woman who spent years being impressive, composed and accommodating…and is now ready to become richly expressed. Inside this class you’ll learn how to dissolve the conditioning that taught you to be pleasing, palatable and safe so you can feel free to love, lead and create from your depths.

For the woman who learned how to be good…but was born to be wild & worshipped.

You can join the membership below (or click here). The first 100 women get in free.

Come taste what it feels like to live as the woman who does the damn thing.